“Now, this debt ceiling — I just want to remind people in case you haven’t been keeping up — raising the debt ceiling, which has been done over a hundred times, does not increase our debt; it does not somehow promote profligacy. All it does is it says you got to pay the bills that you’ve already racked up, Congress. It’s a basic function of making sure that the full faith and credit of the United States is preserved.” – Barrack Obama

I confess to having spoken harshly of politicians in the past. I’ve been cruel, even spiteful to our leaders. I’ve stated that entitlement programs actually destroy creativity, suck from the productive in society while benefiting the unproductive.

I’ve stated that bureaucracy undermines the free markets, and further driving the knife deeper into a gaping wound I’ve championed that free markets are the lifeblood of an economy and therefore wealth creation. I’ve said that allowing the political class ever greater control has always, and will always end in tears.

I must now humbly apologize on bended knee. Listening to those keen insights from the leader of the free world I was struck with a blinding revelation. I now see the error in my thinking. How could I have been so wrong? I have confused many, many things in my little brain.

In my defense, I’m just a normal guy. I’ve never graced the steps of parliament, congress or any such hallowed ground where the mighty thinkers tread.

Damn those Austrian economists, they brainwashed me! How silly they clearly are with their misguided, simplistic rantings. That which goes up must come down…they must think that high finance is a matter of logic. Fools.

Having now seen the light, I wasted no time and immediately called out to my wife. I asked her to take inventory of our debts and credit limits. Whatever they were I wanted them raised, immediately!

She quizzed me curiously and pointed out that we don’t have any debts. I was ashamed and upset. Why was this? How could I have been so foolish? and I’m the one that is meant to know this stuff. I’ve been involved in financial markets all my adult life.

Now my wife is beautiful and bright, but alas not financially or politically minded, so I need to be patient with her. I had to explain how raising our debt limits and borrowing more (or in our case any) money in fact does NOT increase our debt, it in fact allows us to pay our bills!

Paying our bills is a good thing, she agreed. Looks like I’m making headway.

It follows therefore that if we are to be able to continue to pay our bills it is imperative that we raise our debt limits. No austerity in this household. Don’t need it according to Mr. Obama.

Now my wife started shifting about nervously and eyeing me suspiciously. She normally does that when…oh never mind. I’m going to have to find someone smarter than I to explain this to her.

“Look,” she said all of a sudden. “You know our neighbours Alan and Sue down the road, right?” Where was this going? “Sure,” I said. “Well, they are now both working full-time and then some to pay for that new rental property ‘investment’ that they purchased. Is that what you mean by increasing our debt limits?”

“That ‘investment’ is sucking another $25,000 a year out of their budget, money that clearly wasn’t there to be spent. Now their kids can’t come and play with our kids in the afternoons because they are in after school care! Not interested!”

From what I could gather, my wife doesn’t want our kids to have to go to after school care, and she doesn’t want to have to go find a job to support my “crazy new idea.”

Now she’s taken all the booze out of the liquor cabinet and started mentioning doctors. It’s getting uncomfortable, but I’m determined to re-edumacate her. This is important stuff, and our financial future depends on it.

I’m wondering if Mr. Obama could setup a helpline to assist financially illiterate people such as my dear wife… 0800-FREE-RIDE.

Until then I’m going to have to figure out how to live within my means and pay my bills with cash in the bank instead of debt. That doesn’t sound nearly as fun, damnit.

Meanwhile, if any of you dear readers are more skilled than I in explaining complex financial mumbo jumbo, please let me know. I need to get my wife on board before it’s too late! Any help is greatly appreciated.

– Chris

 “Deficits don’t matter” – Dick Cheney